Well, it didn’t seem to bother you that much, when you were in your 20’s!
by M. J. Joachim
First and foremost, no one is trying to turn anyone into a god or goddess in the bedroom with this article. If that were the case, you’d probably be divorced five times over by now.
Rather, this article is about the natural element of being sexual partners in marriage, and engaging in one of the richest types of intimacy there is, because you are married.
It is normal.
It is healthy.
It is natural.
It is necessary.
It is fun.
It is … fill in your own adjective here, and claim sex as a beautiful aspect of who you are as a human being.
The media does a great disservice to married couples, degrading sexual intimacy like it does. No harm in being adventuresome, but after 10, 15, 20+ years of marriage – and never having imagined, let alone participated in some of those things, trying to become something you’re not is simply NOT the best way to put new sexual spark into your marriage!
Touching feels good, but foreplay is better! Foreplay – you know! The subtle hints that you can’t live without your partner. The unexpected glances and smiles while you’re watching t.v. together, cute notes on the bathroom mirror or in a briefcase, to be found throughout the day, a gentle arm wrapping around his waistline, while he’s stirring spaghetti sauce on the stove.
Marital sex is not, and should never ever be, an obligation! Nor should it be calendared in like all your other meetings and doctor appointments! When sex becomes routine, it gets boring in a hurry!
Marital sex should not take place at record speed, just to get it over with! Make eye contact at least, for crying out loud! Give her a little kiss – don’t slobber on her like a mad dog; but gently, thoughtfully, softly and lovingly kiss her and let her know how much she means to you.
She’s your lady. Remember? And he’s your man. Granted, between having kids, paying the bills and keeping up the maintenance on your house, it’s hard to think about this sometimes. Don’t let that stop you from staying in love with your better half though. Each of the above things mentioned moves on, disappears or falls apart anyway, whether you stay in love with your spouse or not.
Talk to your partner about sex. Learn from each other, and pay attention. Listen to what you both are saying. There may be things you’ve taken for granted or never thought about, when it comes to having sex with your spouse. You might not like the way he does a particular act. He might wish you’d wear a different outfit, one that’s not so flannel, baggy or unimaginative.
Study with your partner. The entire body has sensitive pressure points. Some are more sensitive than others, particularly on males than females and vice versa. Why not learn what will spark each other’s attention together? Why not enjoy the aspect of getting to know your partner’s body, along with (his/her) mind, heart and soul?
Light some candles. Play some music. Pour your favorite drinks and eat your favorite foods together…on a blanket on the living room floor, in a secluded meadow or forest, at the beach. Express yourself without words, and let your partner understand that (he/she) is the only person you will ever know and love, who can make you feel like the most beautiful and amazing person in the world!