Reasons to Stay Married Forever

Having someone who hopes with you contributes to your sense of well being and provides you with emotional sustenance.


By MJ Logan

Ah marriage. The bliss, the fun. Sharing a life together. It all starts before you get married. You meet, date, get engaged and then comes the big wedding day. Flowers, fancy clothes and "to death do us part," followed by an extravagant dinner, smashing cake into each other’s faces and dancing to romantic music while all your newly made in-laws, friends and family watch.

And when it's all over and everyone goes home, you'll live happily ever after.

Maybe.

The current divorce rate in America is approaching fifty percent within the first ten years of marriage. The good news is, if you make it that long, you'll probably make it a lot further. The bad news is, statistically speaking you've only got a fifty-fifty chance of making it that far.

Marriage can be summed up in one word. Work. You have to work at being married and you have to do it every day and give it one-hundred percent. Of course, if you enjoy what you're working at, it's a lot less like work and a lot more like fun. The fun will get you past the hard times. Unfortunately, too many people don't realize you have to work at marriage and give up long before they should.

Reasons to Work at Being Married

Few things worth having are free. The price for a successful and long lasting marriage is working at preparing yourself for marriage and working at being married once you leave the altar. There are a lot of good reasons to stay married and you won't count them using all the fingers and toes between two married people. It might be better to group those things into a top five list that covers most of them.

Support

Marriage creates a support structure for two individuals who have come together. Staying married gives you a partner for life that you can rely on. If one feels bad, the other lifts them up. If one becomes sick, their spouse takes care of them. If your feet are cold, you get to warm them up on your spouses back in the middle of the night. What could be better? Of course, you can't complain when he steals all of the blankets ten minutes later.

Sustenance

Partners in a marriage provide each other with emotional sustenance that feeds each other's emotional needs. Emotional sustenance includes love, understanding, caring, hugs and just being there to listen when one had a bad day at work. Knowing you can unload the day's baggage makes carrying it that much easier. It goes back to the support structure. Couples in a good marriage sustain the marriage by supporting each other. 

Hope

What purpose would we have in life if we did not dream? Dreams give us something to look forward to. A purpose or a goal in life. Those dreams may not always be attainable, but they are there. Sharing dreams with your spouse gives you something you both look forward to together. If you can't dream, you can't hope. Having someone who hopes with you contributes to your sense of well being and provides you with emotional sustenance.

Satisfaction

When you're married and you're sharing hopes and dreams, supporting each other and giving each other emotional sustenance, you'll never hope for a more satisfying earthly relationship. In your marriage bed, you'll find a richness and love not found anywhere else―not in empty casual encounters or in a noncommittal "living-together" relationship, or even when dating a possible marriage partner.

Strength

Being together, knowing you are together, and working at being together gives you the strength to overcome so much. As a couple, you are twice as strong as you are alone and you can build on each other's strengths. To do this, both partners must realize their own strengths and weaknesses, and be willing to let the other be strong when they need them to be. Recognizing and accepting that we are not perfect, while contributing the overall strength of the relationship is not always easy, but in the end it pays big dividends in the strength of the bonds both people share.

What Makes it Great

As humans, we love the bottom line. What's in it for us? What does it pay? How do I justify this? In marriage, the benefits are easy to see. We get what we as humans need from a strong, long lasting marriage. When we're not looking for reasons to leave and seeing reasons to stay together, we're finding what we need and that is the bottom line.

What we need boils down to one, complex and abstract emotion. Love. It's what we all need. In a good marriage, where both partners are working for the benefit of that marriage and supporting each other, it is hard for them not to love each other, and that makes it so easy to stay together. It takes two people to be married, and both of them must be fully committed to working together to stay married and enjoy the benefits.


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©2011, 2012 All Rights Reserved Teresa DePoy